CAN YOU DENOUNCE YOUR RACE?

I know everyone is sick and tired of the whole Imus situation, however this was on my mind so I must share.

Everyone should, in great detail, know the events of the whole Imus ordeal, so I will not go further to restate those comments or statements. Anyway, on last Wednesday on my way to the airport to start my mini-vacation, I was listening to a local talk radio show who was discussing the Imus situation. It was the morning after he appeared on the AL Sharpton show, where he made a statement saying the girls should not have been offended by his statement because black females allow other females and males to refer to them as hoes and bitches. Not only did the statement get under my skin, because he thought it was an excuse for his actions, but because he failed to mention or realize that white girls do it too. However, it does make it right for us to use those words toward each other rather in a friendly manner or otherwise, because as we can all see our actions/words are misconstrued and used as weapons against us.

As much as that statement really upset me, it did not upset me as much as the African American female who called in to comment on the statement. She said “ I am a frequent listener of the Imus show and he is edgy, he does not only say things about Blacks he talks about all races, so I think he words where taken out of context. And furthermore, I can see why he said it, those girls are not pretty at all.” The radio personality stated, “what do you mean not pretty? Those are some beautiful and intelligent girls.” That crazy ass heifer goes on to say, “No they are not, well I guess it depends on how you define beautiful, because in my definition those are not beautiful girls or intelligent. The press conference was their time to display their intelligence and they could not articulate themselves well, especially the Captain.”

It was at that point that I wanted to jump through the radio, into her phone and whip her ass, right before I denounce Blackhood. She was an embarrassment to all black women. How in the world can you justify anyone calling young ladies who are trying to make something of themselves a Nappy Head Ho, in spite of your thoughts about their physical features. What in the hell does beauty have to do with being demeaned and called out of your name. Since when does the lack of beauty give anyone the right to mistreat someone because of their misfortune. And most importantly, who defines beauty? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may think they are ugly, but I am sure there are equal or more people out there who think they are the prettiest tenderroni’s walking the earth.

It really amazes me how many African American people do not have a clue and oblivious to what is really going on in the world. Regardless of what context the statement was made it was wrong and mortifying. OH MY BLACK PEOPLE LET’S GET IT TOGETHER!

NOBODY WASHED THEIR HANDS!

This past Saturday I was asked to find a Volunteer Project for a local Boy Scout troop to do with my job. Of course I agreed to do it, who doesn’t like easy overtime? But please let’s keep in mind that it was stated that I was going to have a Boy Scout Troop. What do you picture when some says a Boy Scout troop? I think of cute little handsome men around the ages of 7-12, so I thought. Clearly when I meet the troop at our meeting place, the “BOY SCOUT’S” where grown ass men, ranging in the ages of 16-19. Question: What in the hell is an 18 and 19 year old still doing in Boy Scouts. I think I could see another Virginia Tech massacres or a few molesters in a few years, if you are so socially F’d up that you have to kick it in Boy Scouts pass puberty. Anyway, I gave them their project and I keep watch to ensure no one hurt themselves.

Lunch time came and the Troop leaders decide to grill some hotdogs and brats for the group and of course asked me to gone and I agreed until……. No One washed their damn hands. I notice all of the kids/grown men were just sitting around waiting for the food to cook, so I suggested/offer for everyone to wash their hands at the water pump with soap and water. Everyone and I mean everyone looked at me like I had a third eye. It seemed like everyone was saying in the back of their minds “ The B is crazy as hell.”

The food was cook everyone ran over grab plates, touched the bread, and everything else everyone had to use to eat. Therefore, I only ate the hot dogs that came straight off the grill. One of the Troop Leaders offered to prepare my plate and I gave him that “Do you dare put your nasty ass hands on my food.” I refuse to eat the bread of anything else, they touched with their unwashed hands. Oh!! But people let me catch ya head one more time. They had that nerve to offer me some Peach and cherry cobbler. I thought to myself…. Self, you know you really like sweets, but self…If these grown ass people don’t wash their hands after playing in dirt all morning, then you damn well they don’t wash their hands after they piss or shit. So, self… what if they went to the restroom while making that Peach and cherry cobbler? And I said umm…. Good point self “NO THANKS”

Killer point in the story: After the group finished eating and cleaning up their picnic area, the group walked to the water pump to wash their hands. WTF… So you don’t wash your hands to eat, but you wash your hands to go hiking in woods. Just stab me cause I through!

Back in the Dating Game......or NOT!

I know I haven’t blogged in a while, however the job has me running headless in mountains these days. I have been on the road traveling to training sessions, meeting, and conferences on top of still getting other projects out on time. I basically don’t have enough time to scratch my ass these days. Anyway, so much has happen since my last blog. I am not sure how many readers remember the infamous 6 year relationship that I have been taking time to gather and recover from, but I am did just that so I thought. I spent a few months not dating or conversing with anyone and I thought it was time to venture out and see what type of men Chicago had to offer. Are you ready for this experience, because I really don’t think you are!!! Hell I wasn’t….

The first guy that I met here in Chicagoland, was a 35 year old employee of Chicago Transit Authority, he owns his own condo, and he believes in investments. I was so excited to meet a mature man that was interested in the same things I had an interest in….. Investments and Retirement Savings. I am all about the retiring early. We had been conversing via telephone since the beginning of December. (Yeap that’s right I was entertaining him while I was still talking to the 6 year guy.) Anyway, after all of those phone conversation we decided to go out on an official date. Dinner and an Art Gallery showing in Chicago Heights. Because I am new to the area, with no one to look out for me I decided to just meet him at the Art Gallery and then we would go from there.

I got to the art gallery around 7:30 pm. I sat down and placed my jacket over the set next me to secure my dates spot while I waited for his face to pop up and the interpretation to start. I show started right on time, it was owned by Others obviously, and ended at about 8:30. I walked around the gallery looking at the art collections still awaiting the arrival of my date. By 8:35 I realized the bastard stood me up. I learned a long time ago, one monkey don’t stop no show. Therefore, I have no problems going out without a man to do things I want to do. So I continued to network and left for dinner at 9:30.

All in all I had a great time at the Art Gallery and dinner alone. I have keen gift to thoroughly entertain myself. However, I was perturbed by the fact he didn’t even try to call until Sunday to say his Uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he only has six months to live. WOW!

What’s the relationship like today between this young man and I. Well, I learned another lesson a long time ago not to make yourself ready and available for someone who will not do the same for you. So yes we do continue to converse, however I don’t break my back to answer the phone or make plans to meet up with him.

Next guy was also 35 years old. I met him at a party, he seemed quite nice and slightly shy. We exchanged numbers and did not speak to each other again until Super Bowl Sunday. Our conversation was a typical first conversation, what do you do for a living, where do you live, what do you like to do for fun, yadda, yadda, yadda… On Monday, ya boy called me 5 times in four hour span. He called while I was walking in the door from the gym at 6:30 pm. I told him I was going to call him after I get settled in and take a shower. I sat down to watch Girlfriends and ya boy called me back to ask why I didn’t call him back. I told him because my Monday night TV shows came on I was going to call you when they went off. At 8:28 ya boy called back to ask if the show went off. Did I tell you our first conversation was the previous day and I gave him my number a week ago. I said not yet. And I am going to call you when they go off. I called him back around 9:30 and he told me that he was playing a game and he would have to call me tomorrow. Of course I rejoiced because I was ready to lay it down for the night anyway. I prepared for sleep by closing my eye lids and just before slumber set in, ya boy called back to ask me if I was asleep. CRAZY, JUST PURE CRAZINESS!! Over the next few days he continued to blow my phone you regularly and some how I agreed to go out on a date with him that Saturday.

Friday night came, which was the same Friday as the stand up act, and he called to discuss the agenda for the date. Earlier that week I invited him to a party for a friend, I didn’t think he was going to get sooooo attached to the idea, but he did. I told him that I didn’t know exactly were the party was and what time it started because my friend did not call me back yet. As soon as I get the information I will call you. Keep in mind that I decided to answer the phone after he called in 4 time in 5 minutes. Please be clear that I did answer the phone with a slight attitude.

Saturday morning prior to the date: He called me while I was on my way to help a co-worker paint her house. He told me I hurt his feeling last night and he is a soft heart person. My first reaction: Get the F*&k outta here! I mean this dude is 6’4 about 300lbs. Who in there right mind would have thought that “I will call you when I get the information.” Would hurt his feelings. I went on to tell him that I am a blot person and I am not very tactful at times. I am not going to apologize for what I said because I meant it. But I will apologize for the attitude. I then went on to express to him that before I go out with him, I need to let him know that I am NOT looking for anything serious. I am not mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally ready for any type of relationship except friendship.

In later conversation after I asked him if we could 86 the party and just go to dinner, he went on this wild tangent, to tell me that I was wasting both of out time because I really don’t like him and he already had his heart set on going to the party. Because I stressed the fact that I was not ready for a relationship and I altered the original plans. He also stated that I was treating him that way because I was materialistic. Did I mention that he asked me to pick him up for our date because he doesn’t have a car. Yeah!!!! He continues to state people could go out on dates and have feelings for people and not be in a committed relationship.

Yeah that through me for a loop as well. Especially after he asked him to pick him up, I said no and I would meet him there, but I did agree to keep the date. I do believe if I was materialistic I wouldn’t have even finished the conversation. To make an already long story short, I ask ya boy to please never call me again. I can’t deal with the stress or the craziness.

How does this all play out. Ya boy still calls and ask me out on dates via my voicemail, because I refuse to answer the phone. Once he noticed I was not answering the phone when I saw his name, he started calling from a different number every time he calls. So now I don’t answer the phone for numbers I don’t know.

After all of this I realize I am not ready. I am content with my single life and I choose to stay that way for a while.