My Epiphany

At this wonderful tender age of 25 I am battling this intermediate state of mind. The intermediate state of mind where you are indecisive about everything, nothing makes sense even when you try to make sense of it.

Yesterday I sat on my balcony recalling an article my good friend sent me many months ago about Quarter Life Crisis. Apparently this is something many people my age experience especially when fully breaking away from the parental unit for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, I have been confused about life before, but I have never been this mislead and disoriented about the direction or choices I should make. The future is so easy to define and foresee at this moment, however it the here and now that is blank. Often I day dream about going to sleep and waking up in 5 years, but as we all know nothing in life happens that way and it does take hard work and time to achieve future goals.

As of now, I have achieved every goal that I have set for myself way back when today was the future. I have accomplished graduating from both undergrad and grad school, and currently have a great paying job with benefits. However, right now I can not tell you if I truly enjoy my job or my paycheck. All I know is that I wake up every morning to go to work and come home every afternoon to go to sleep. The only thing I am sure about these days is that I enjoy going to church and church activities, and hate paying bills.

Yet as I continue to think about all of these things on my balcony, I realize that this is a part of growing and transitioning from stage of life to the next. It is the intermediate stage where the childish things we used to do are no longer entertaining and the grown things we were afraid of facing seems close but not close enough to engage. It is the stage of life when it's time to figure out what you like or dislike, could stand for or will not stand for in life. It’s the stage of life when you define your future goals for another period of life that seems so far way. It is the time when you experience the best times and worst times, and trying as hard as you can to figure out which is which.

After reaching that much understanding, which felt like the world largest light bulb turned on in my head, I realize there are other people experiencing that same thing and may not be as blessed as I am in the situation. I have a very nice roof over my head, a car in good condition to get to and fro, good food on my TV stand, very nice clothes on my back, and most importantly a steady check to pay all of my bills. So my epiphany is, my crisis is not really a crisis. It is just a part of growing and prospering into the Adult phase of life.